Hurtling to Hemlock Pond

Let me say this up front: just because you own a mountain bike doesn’t mean you should mountain bike.

The Fat Man and I got a late start on this Saturday morning, but we wanted to get outside and exercise.  “I’ve got an idea,” he said.  “Why don’t we put on our bathing suits and bicycle to Hemlock Pond and go swimming.”  We’ve hiked to this pond in Sussex County, New Jersey a few times, and in our minds’ eyes, we remembered the trail as being relatively flat.  So it sounded like the perfect adventure for a hot June day.

Since it was a humid 90 degrees at 10 a.m., we decided to wait until well after lunch. The Fat Man wanted to stop at the Rita’s on the drive up because he was jonesing for their custard and ice.  It was his first Rita's for the summer season.  I declined because I’ve put on a few pounds.  It was a herculean task because that custard looked so damned good. But I was grateful later on when I was huffing and puffing on my bike.

It was still pretty warm, but not unbearable, when we finally got on the trail at 3:30.  It is a 5-mile trail that goes completely around Blue Mountain Lake.  If you bear right, it takes you right to the lake.  If you bear left, it is about 2.5 miles to the pond.

After the first several hundred yards, we realized our collective memories had miserably failed us.  The trail, in fact, has several hills.  They are not that high, but it is not so easy to pedal on high grass, rocks, and dirt. 

Don't let the flat parts fool you

But I’d also forgotten something about this trail that I’ve always hated, which is the ticks that you cannot help but pick up because the grass is so high.

Ouch!

I was in the lead, and noticed in my rear view mirror that the Fat Man had gone done.  I rode back and saw that he was covered in bloody scratches.  “What happened?” I asked.  “I ran out of talent,” he sheepishly replied. 

We were both severely out of breath and I suggested that there was no shame in turning around, or abandoning the bikes altogether, and walking.  “No, let’s keep going,” said the Fat Man.  I really hate that about him.

I watched him “jump” over a branch at the end of one hill and thought I could do the same.  But since I was so out of control speeding down, and was clutching my brakes, I just didn’t have enough speed.  My bike came to an abrupt stop and I fell over with my bike falling on top of me.

Hemlock Pond vista

The Fat Man came to my rescue, but once my bike was righted, I could see that my seat was now pointing to the right.  Fortunately, he was able to fix it.  But now I was bleeding, too, from an angry bruise on my leg.

For the remainder of the trail, we both “bike walked,” which meant we rode as far as we could and got off our bikes and walked up the hills that we could not climb. Going downhill was scarier (in my opinion) because of all the bumps.  We usually only ride on asphalt or “rails to trails” bike paths.  Experienced mountain bikers would probably call it a sissy trail, but to us it was like being on Mount Everest.

Hemlock Pond

Having a helmet is a necessity, but I soon became overheated, despite guzzling water from my camelback water system.  Needless to say, we were thrilled to reach the pond and jump into the cool water.  It really is one of the prettiest places in New Jersey.  Since I had a open wound, however, I was a bit concerned about getting some flesh-eating bacteria (they seem to always come from lakes).  So I doused my cut with hand antiseptic, which burned like a mother **cker.

Hemlock Pond rock ledge

We took a different way back and as I was careening down one rocky hill, I was thinking that if I fell, it would be very easy to knock out a tooth.  That was the point when I cried out to Jesus that I had no idea what I was doing, couldn’t really see the road (due to the sun and the intense bumps), and that it was 

entirely up to Him to protect me.  Later the Fat Man confided that he was thinking that you could lose all your teeth.  Fortunately we had all our teeth when we finished, but we would definitely wear a mouth guard if there is ever a next time. 

I also wasn’t quick enough to maneuver around a mud pile at the bottom of one of the hills and ended up with mud all over me, which I think was worse than skinning my leg.

When we reached the car, I thanked Jesus for His protection and congratulated myself for finishing the trail.  The Fat Man and I would live to see another day.

Hemlock Pond Bank

To get to Hemlock Pond, take Route 80 west to the last exit in New Jersey (it is just before reaching the bridge that takes you over the Delaware River). Continue north on Old Mine Road (which parallels the Delaware River), for about 10 miles. When you reach Millbrook Village, bear left, and drive 1.5 miles north.  Turn right at the sign for Blue Mountain Lake (just before a big white house), and go 1.3 miles to the parking area, which is on your left.  

Heidi’s rating: ★★ Due to hyperventilating anxiety, hurting lungs, and major mud splash.

The Fat Man’s rating: 4 ticks and 2 croaking frogs.