Smokey Mountain High

The Fat Man decided that we should celebrate our 16^th wedding anniversary with a road trip to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, which is the home of Dollywood.

So we packed Horace the Honda with snacks and two unabridged books on tape (World War Z on the ride down and Stephen King’s Joyland coming back) and took off for a 10-hour drive and a memory-making adventure.

The wax museum

The Fat Man’s arrangements included free accommodations if we agreed to listen to a two-hour presentation about a time-share condo in Gatlinburg. This was so unlike him, but I’m confident that he will never book another one again. It was two hours of our lives that we will never get back. They would not let us leave until I finally uttered the magic words, not once, but three times: “It sounds like a great deal, but it’s just not our cup of tea.”

Iceberg ahead

A lot has changed since the Fat Man’s last visit to Pigeon Forge, which was 20 years ago.  If I were to write a slogan for the town, I’d say it’s where the Bible belt meets Vegas.

Anyhoo... on our first morning we decided to take an easy hike in the Smokey Mountains. It is quite a change of scenery when you exit the amusement park-lined strip in Pigeon Forge (a wax museum, Biblical Times dinner theatre, Titanic museum, need I say more?) and enter the pristine forests of the Great Smokey Mountain National Park.

Trail to Laurel Falls

We chose Laurel Falls, which is one of the most popular destinations in the park and has an 80-foot waterfall. It is only 2.6 miles round trip and you travel on a paved path, which is steep in places. We saw one person on a scooter, but they don’t recommend wheelchairs or strollers. The falls are spectacular but it was very crowded.  If you are a seasoned hiker, you will probably want something more rugged and off the beaten track.  They also don’t allow dogs, especially little ones because they are just hors d'oeuvres for black bears.

Laurel Falls

We continued hiking above the falls and were the only ones on a dirt trail.  Within 15 minutes, it started to pour and I wished I’d packed my rain jacket.  Fortunately we each carry covers for our backpacks, but we were soaked to the bone by the time we reached our car. 

View at Laurel Falls trail

Then we took a ride up to Clingmans Dome, the highest point in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, the highest point in Tennessee, and the third highest mountain east of the Mississippi.  Just when we were finally dry, it poured on us there, too.  Back in Gatlinburg, I bought a collapsible umbrella, which is now a permanent part of my backpack.  Better to have and not need has always been our motto.

We also indulged in another fun sport while at Pigeon Forge: Go-Kart racing.  For $25, we were able to participate in five races.  The Fat Man was an animal on the track and he developed a following of admirers. By the end of the night, however, the race hawkers were warning people to stay out of my way. 

Let's race!

If y’all like fried food and all-you-can eat buffets, then Pigeon Forge is definitely the destination for you.

Heidi’s rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ for the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

The Fat Man’s rating: 5 hush puppies and a bowl of grits.